i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
