Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Randomize
