Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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