everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
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