she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Randomize
