Whod you bang
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
