Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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