your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
My breasts were aching with rage.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Randomize
