You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Randomize