I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
