Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
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