If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Randomize
