i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
