Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize