Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
