And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
