he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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