we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
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