We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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