Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
