Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Randomize
