But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
