Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
