I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Randomize
