new low.... made out with someone while peeing
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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