yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Vodka?
Forever.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
