we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
