Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
