you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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