I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
