I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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