Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
