He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
