I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
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