I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
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