yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
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