I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I want to fling myself into the sun
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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