i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
May the power of my ass compel you!!
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
