Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
