You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Randomize
