the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
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