so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
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