Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Randomize
