The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
