He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
