It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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