Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
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