Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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