Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Randomize
