Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
