32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
why do cheetos always look like penises
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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