called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize