If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Randomize
