I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
