i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
