He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
