my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
