New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
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