i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
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