Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
