Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
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