so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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