Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
