Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
