She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
don't judge my taste in strippers
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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