Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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