she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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