Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
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