tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
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