I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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