ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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