sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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