we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I need to stop coming to work sober
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
What drink are we having for lunch?
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
