I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Liz is crying about burritos again.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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