Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
My brain says no but my pants say off.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
