I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
My vagina is officially offended.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Randomize
