You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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