In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
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