what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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